Kuch is tarah 4 (my diary)

Jo main sun rahi thi , mera uspe trust karne ko man nai keh raha tha but after all truth is a truth and no one can change it. Mirza ne bataya ki vo mujhe test kar raha tha ki main uske relationship se jealous hoti hu ya nahi , jealous aur main ..jealousy vaha hoti hai jab ap kisi se pyaar karte ho aur maine use dost ke alaawa kabhi kuch samjha hi nai .

maine usse yahi pucha ki main jealous kyu hoti , to usne mujhe kaha ki use lagta hai ki main use like karti hu aur mere dil may uske liye love vali feelings hai , maine use pucha ki tumhe aisa kyu laga aur kaise lag sakta hai , mujhe aaj bhi yaad hai jab humari dosti hue ek saal hue the ,friendship day pe maine usse vaada manga tha ki vo is dosti ko dosti tak rakhe taki hum is line ko jhoota saabit kar sake ki ek ladka aur ladki kabhi dost nai ho sakte to phir usne aisa soch bhi kaise liya . Lekin kehte hai na pyaar aur jazbaat aag ki tarah hote hai sirf jara si aanch ki jarurat hoti hai , meri life main vo anch dene wali koi aur nai meri sabse achi dost aashi  thi , mirza ne bataya ki aashi ne use kaha ki mere dil may feelings hai lekin may bayan nai karti kyuki main sure nai hu ..

usne socha ki vo apne gf ki baaten karega , apne relatioship se mujhe jealous karega taki main apni feelings use bata du aur propose kar du . Jaise jaise main uski baaten sun rahi thi vaise vaise humari dosti ki saari yaaden mere dil may chubh rahi thi aur maine usse akhiri bar pucha ki koi aur kya sochta hai mujhe isse kabhi fark nai pada , na padega , kisne kya kaha I dont care tum batao mujhe tum mere baare main kya sochte ho aur sach batana tum already bahut jhooth bol chuke ho ab aur mat bolna……I love you…in teen words ko log magical words kehte hai lekin us waqt ye mere life world ke sabse worst words the , aur ye worst words maine mirza se sune vo bhi mere liye , usne kaha ki use ye feeling aksar hoti thi lekin vo mujse keh nai pata tha , lekin jab usne logo se suna ki main uske liye feel karti hu use expectation hone lagi aur mere dil ki baat jaane ke liye usne ye sab kiya , usne kaha ki jab main usse door gai tab uski feeling aur strong hue , aur uski kisi se aisi bonding nai ho pai .

maine aur kuch nai suna aur phone kat diya , us pal mujhe apne aap per gussa aa raha tha , kaash maine use raakhi baandh di hoti , logo ne kaha usne maan liya , mera best friend hoke bhi vo mujhe jaan nai saka pehchan nai saka jis waade ki wajah se humara rishta gehra hua humari dosti strong hue usne wahi waada tod diya aur sath hi toda mera dil . Afsos to is baat ka hai ki use is baat ka koi guilt nai tha ki jo usne kiya galat kiya uska to seedha javab tha mujhe janna tha isliye ye sab kiya aur main , mujhe pe kya beet rahi thi koi soch nai sakta tha , mere do sabse acche dost jinse maine apni life ki har choti se lekar badi baat share ki apna dil khol ke rakh diya tha unhi ne mera dil toda , itne jhooth bole , meri feelings ka majak bana diya ek game bana diya .

Log kehte hai aksar pyaar main dil toot jata hai lekin maine to kabhi pyaar kiya hi nahi mera dil to phir bhi toot gaya , kasoor pyaar ka nai hota kasoor galatfehmi ka hota hai ek jhoot , zindagi bhar ke rishte tod deta hai to phir ye to dosti hai jha jazbaaton ka hi maajak bana diya , aashi aur mirza meri life ke 2 sabse important log the meri family ke bad mere liye koi important tha to sirf ye dono aur us ek pal main wahi 2 log meri life ki sabse badi mistake ban gaye , kya mujhe dard nai hua hoga , mujhe hurt nai hoga , mere self respect to chot nai pahuchi hogi to kis haq se main unhe apna dost kahu jinhone meri feelings ke saath khela , kyu main unhe maaf karu aur kis wajah se unhe apni life ka hissa bana ke rakhu ab , jinse jaan se jada pyar karti thi ab unse nafrat kyu na karu .

Ab aap bataiye maine kya galat kiya , ap meri jagah hote to kya karte pyaar to door mujhe to dosti pe bhi trust nai raha , kabhi bana paungi dost kisi ko ? kabhi ksi ke liye feel kar paungi ?? kya mera decision galat hai .

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Kuch is tarah 3 (My diary)

Finally maine innayat ka number dial kar liya tha aur ring ja rahi thi , main nervous ho rahi thi ki usse baat kaise shuru karugi, finally usne phone uthaya , sabse pehle maine use apna chota sa intro diya , maine use bataya ki may mirza ki best friend bol rahi hu lekin mujhe aur jada kuch nai batana pada kyuki vo mujhe jaanti thi usne bataya ki mirza ne use mere baare may kaafi kuch bataya hai , vo jis tarah se mujhse baat kar rahi thi uski awaaj se lag hi nai raha tha ki vo tensed hai , ya naraj hai kuch bhi nai vo mujhse bahut acche se haske baat kar rahi thi  aur jab usne khud koi jikr nai kiya to maine usse pucha , tum dono goa se jaldi vaapas kyu aa gaye, I know ki tumhara jhagada hua hai aur mujhe beech may nai bolna chahiye but mirza mera best friend hai aur usi ke naate tum bhi meri dost ho , is liye puch rahi hu ki akhir tum dono ki ladai kyu hue , main aur bolti isse pehle usne beech may bola ki mujhe shayad koi galatfehmi hue hai , aisa kuch nai hua hai aur usse jada jhatka mujhe tab laga jab inaayat ne mujhe bataya ki vo goa gai hi nai thi mirza akele hi goa gaya tha , main shocked thi , inaayat ne mujhe ye bhi bataya ki uska aur mirza ka koi jhagda nai hua , mujhe kuch samajh nai aa raha tha I was blank , maine usse phir pucha ki tum goa kyu nai gai ?? aur jo javab usne diya mujhe ek aur shock lag gaya usne goa na jaane ki vajah ye batai ki uske boyfriend kabeer ka birthday tha , aur ye reunion holiday bhi thi isliye vo goa nahi gai , mere dimag may hazaaron savaal uth rahe the , mirza ne jhooth kyu kaha , yha tak aashi ne bhi mujhe jhoot kaha aur sabse badi baat inaayat mirza ki partner thi to uska partner koi aur kaise , mujhe kuch samajh nai aa raha tha ki may aage kya kahu kya puchu , mujhe laga inaayat se aur kuch poochna theek nai hoga , lekin tab tak inaayat ne mujhe kaha ki main usse ye sab kyu puch rahi hu to maine ye keh ke taal diya ki mirza ne mere sath prank kiya tha kuch misunderstanding ho gai , usne kaha ha vo hai thoda naughty meri dosti usse kabeer ke through hue aur college may kabeer ke alava ek vahi mera sabse accha dost hai . Mujhe aur koi baat nai karni thi maine idher udhar ki bat karke call end ki savaal hi savaal the man may lekin javab dene vala nai tha koi , bus itna sach tha ki mirza ne mujhse jhooth bola tha vo bhi itna bada jhooth sath hi aashi bhi isme shaamil thi lekin kyu akhir kyu bola unhone ye jhooth kya vajah ho sakti hai , mujhe baat karni thi mirza se main recall kar rahi thi ki maine jab jab mirza se inaayat ka number manga usne nai diya , apni aur inaayat ki ek pic ke alava usne kabhi un dono ki saath may koi pic nai di may mangti bhi thi to nai deta tha , maine uske goa jaane per un dono ki pic mangi thi tab bhi usne nai di thi , aur bhi bahut saari baaten mujhe yaad aa rahi thi , maine  lagatar 5 baar uska phone milaya but usne recieve nai kiya maine use text kar diya  ki mujhe uska jhooth pata  chal gaya hai aur uske baad maine aashi ko call kiya jab usne uthaya to maine usse normally pucha ki uski mirza se koi baat ki ya nahi aur uske aur inaayat ke beech jagda kyu hua aashi ne mujhe tab bhi jhooth hi kaha usne kaha ki reason to nai pata lekin unki bahut badi ladai hue mirza bahut gusse may tha dukhi tha kahi kuch kar na le kyuki vo inaayat se bahut pyaar karta hai mujhe tab bahut gussa aya maine phone kaat diya ab mujhe mirza se jaana tha aur shayad usne mera text padh liya kyuki jaise maine phone rakha uska phone aa gaya maine uthaya lekin kuch bola nai , usne mujhse mera haal chal pucha to maine usse pucha ki uski goa ki trip kaise rahi usne phir ek bar vahi jhooth repeat kiya to main out of control ho gai maine usse kha ki ab jhooth mat bolo mujhe sab pata chal gaya hai aur maine use bataya ki meri aur inaayat ki kya baat hue usse sunke vo bhi chup ho gaya aur  aage kuch nai kaha kareeb 5 minute tak hum dono chup the tab maine kaha ab jo batana sach batana  tumhe meri kasam hai , maine uusse pucha ki mujhe jo pata chala hai vo sab sach hai ya nai to usne kha vo sab sach tha  maine usse pucha ki usne aisa kyu kiya , aur ek baar phir uske javaab se mera dil toot gaya …

to be continued..

Kuch is tarah 2 (my diary)

continued…..

mujhe Lucknow aye abhi 4 mahine hi hue the, ek din mirza ka msg aya “She is the one”

mujhe ishara to mil gaya lekin main confirm nahi thi , khushi bhi thi aur confusion bhi maine use call kiya aur usse pucha ki msg ka matlab kya tha , ye baat aur thi ki mujhe samajh aa gaya tha ki vo kya kehna chahta hai but main usse sunna chahti thi aur phone pe usne mujhe bataya ki kisi ladki ne use propose kiya hai , mujhe bat hajam nai hue , obviously yar I  ladka ladki ko propose kare ye to normal hai lekin ladki ladke ko kare ye bahut kam sunne ko milta hai . Main sab janna chahti thi lekin maine use pehla saval ye pucha ki tu koi prank to nai kar raha na lekin uski awaj se lag raha tha ki vo bahut khush tha aur khushi jhooti nai ho sakti , usne bataya ki college ki ek ladki use first day se pasand thi use us ladki pe crush tha  usi ki class may thi . Maine usse pucha ki ye baat tune mujhe abhi tak kyu nai batai to usne kha main khud sure nai tha tujhe kya batata  crush to kisi pe bhi ho jata hai maine uski bat man li . Inaayat , naam sunte hi mene pucha muslim hai , usne kha ha us din ka final truth ye tha ki inaayat jise mirza college ki first day se pasand karta tha aur propose karne vala tha usne mirza ko hi propose kar diya , uski baaton se uski khushi ka andaja lagaya ja sakta tha aur main , main itni khush thi ki man kar raha tha naachu I was so happy all I could say was photo de , usne mujhe apni aur inaayat ki pic di , she was beautiful , maine phir use phone kiya aur pucha ki relationship goals kya hai kyuki mirza to hindu tha aur inaayat muslim but usne ye keh ke taal diya ki abhi itna door ka nai socha hai maine I love her thats it maine bhi usse aur jada kuch nai pucha main itna khush thi maine apne sare doston ko phone karke bataya ki mirza is not single now , asli khushi mujhe is baat ki thi ki atleast ab finally koi mera aur mirza ka naam sath may nai jodega I was relaxed because he was happy . But uske baad se meri aur mirza ki baaten aur kam ho gai kabhi kabhi aisa hota ki vo free nai hota to kabhi may busy rehti , mails ka reply bhi nai kar pate the aur jab mere pas time hota to main ye soch ke ruk jati ki use thoda time dena chahiye , he should spend time with inaayat taki unki relationship strong ho aur serious ho , phir to mahine may 2 se 3 bar 3 se 4 min ki baten hoti thi bus jisme adha time hum inaayat ki baat karte the , main khush thi kuch mahine bad usne bataya ki vo aur mere kuch aur dost vacations pe ja rahe hai goa , mujhe bhi invite kiya but main busy thi meri ek aur dost thi jise main mirza ke bad apna sabse acha dost kehti thi aashi , vo bhi mirza ke saath hydrabad may hi thi vo sab goa ja rahe the aashi ne bataya ki is trip pe sab single aynge koi apne gf ya bf ko sath nai layga , ek tarah se reunion holiday thi but main nai ja pai bad may aashi ne bataya  ki pure group may sirf mirza hai jo apni gf yaani inayat ko saath le gaya tha jisse baki sab thoda uncomfortable the , maine use samjhaya ki yaar nai nai bonding hai strong hone do aur bonding strong karne ke liye sath may time spend karna jaruri hota hai iske liye holiday perfect hai . so finally aashi , mirza , inaayat aur mere school ke 4 dost aur nikal pade goa ke liye . Suddenly usi samay ek din maine aashi ko phone kiya u hi casually aur maine usse meri baat mirza se karanae ke liye kaha tab usne mujhe bataya ki vo aur inaayat vaapas chale gay maine usse pucha ki itni jaldi kaise tumhari trip to 7 days ki thi aur abhi to 3 din hi hue hai , tab usne mujhe bataya ki mirza aur inaayat ka jhagda ho gaya aur vo chale gay , main thodi tensed ho gai maine socha abhi abhi to dono ki bonding hue hai aise may ladai kyu hue main janna chahti thi I was worried for him and for inaayat too , use phone laga rahi thi but vo recieve nai kar raha tha , main soch rahi thi ki kaash mere paas inaayat ka number hota to main usse hi baat karke jaan leti ki hua kya hai . Maine kai bar mirza se number manga uska but usne diya hi nai , de dunga ye keh ke taal diya , aashi se number manga to uske paas bhi nai tha , main thoda pareshan ho gai thi ki kya hua hoga , kafi din ho gaye meri mirza se baat nai ho pai thi  main inaayat ka number dhoondne may lagi thi badi mushkil se uski ek instagram post pe luckily mujhe uska number mil gaya . Mujhe usse baat karni thi par samajh nai aa raha tha ki kaise karu kyuki maine kabhi usse baat nai ki thi aur ab aise may jab un dono ki ladai ho gai hai to main baat kaise karu aur kya baat karu . But main mirza ke liye pareshan thi kyuki vo emotional bhi tha aur gusse wala bhi use jaldi gussa nai aata but jab aata hai to use sambhalna mushkil hota hai ye sab soch ke mujhe mirza ki chinta ho rahi thi , maine sab kuch bhool ke inaayat ka number dial kiya mujhe nai pata tha ki jo mujhe pata chalne vala hai vo meri life badal dega .

to be continued…

Kuch is tarah (My diary)

Sorry guys was busy with some important work ..

Here I am starting ,guys main bahut jada deep may ya details may nai jaungi coz jitna main yad karungi utna mujhe hurt hoga , shayad main ye story likhti bhi nai but ye unlogo ke liye hai jinhe lagta hai mera decision galat hai , I request u all to read and tell me whether I am wrong or not aur agar ap meri jagah hote to kya karte..

Meri mirza se dosti 2011 october may coaching may hue thi , schools alag the but coaching same thi , vo tha to hindu but use muslim naam bahut pasand the , mujhe pata chala ki once upon a time in mumbai movie uski favorite hai tab maine uska naam mirza rakh diya jo use bahut pasand tha , vo alag tha sare ladkon jaisa nai tha , puri coaching may vo ek aisa akela ladka tha jo ladkiyon se sharmata tha , sir thoda sa daat se to ankhon se ansu nikal jate the itna emotional tha , khoon dekh kar darta tha itna sensitive tha aur dost ke liye pao tudva le rishte aise nibhata tha , ladka aur ladki dost ho sakte hai ye baat samajhne wala insan tha, aisa ladka jispe ladki trust kar sakti thi , aur vo mera best friend tha main apne apko lucky maanti thi , meri aur mirza ki bonding bahut achi thi , we both were best of friends sabse hatke , coaching may baki friends hum logo pe bahut sare comments karte the , jai veeru , dharam veer , gulab jamun aise aise naam mile the hume humare group may sab relationship may the ek main aur mirza hi single the to kai bar log kehte ye dono single nai hai ye dono ek dusre ko date kar rahe hai etc etc tab mirza bolta ek kam karte hai main isse rakhi bandva leta hu tab koi hume couple nai bolega , tab main kehti thi jisko bolna hoga vo tab bhi bolega aur kisi ke soch change karne ke liye hum apna rishta nai change karenge tujhe pata hai main teri dost hu mujhe bhi pata hai tu mera dost hai , baki jisko jo sochna hai sochne do ab main sabko bhai to nahi bana lungi na , ye keh ke taal deti thi par aj afsos hota hai . Aise hi chalta raha kabhi kabhi to hum dono itna pareshan ho jate the ki hum ek dusre se hi ladne lagte thi ki tu abhi tak single kyu hai , tu apne liye koi gf dhoond jaldi taki mera peecha chute aur mirza bhi mujhe yahi kehta aur hum ek dusre se ladte yha tak ki mene use coaching ki kai single ladkiya suggest ki lekin vo bewakoof ladkiyon se sharmata itna tha ki kuch nai ho pata tha , phir school khatm hua hum log khush the ki logo ke silly comments se peecha chutega , but ittefaq aisa tha  ki college main bhi hum saath the aur school ke kai friends bhi. Phir ek din maine use bataya ki main lucknow shift ho rahi hu , door hone ka dukh bhi tha aur khushi bhi thi kyuki mere liye mera career hamesha se first priority raha hai , hum alag ho rahe the uska dukh is khushi se thoda jada tha but life hai sabko age badhna hota hai yahi sochti thi phir kuch din bad usne bataya ki vo bhi hydrabad ja raha hai  vahi se studies continue karega hum dono ab usi situation may the but life was good Lucknow jane se pehle main usse mili thi to mene dekha tha uski ankhon may ansu the , aur vo pagla to aisa tha ki mujhse bhi sharmata tha . Humari dosti may yahi to alag tha kehne ko hum best friends the lekin aisa nai hota tha ki hum ek dusre se chipke rehte ho ,humne bahut jada time ek saath nai bitaya hum sirf coaching may milte the aur bad may college may, humne ek dusre ko kabhi hug tak nai kiya tha jada khush hote the to hifi aur handshake bus yahi tak simit thi humari dosti but that day jab mujhe agle din lucknow jana tha vo ro raha tha uski ankhon may ansu se jo vo chupa raha tha aur bus itna hi keh paya tere bina main kya karunga , 6 saal ki dosti may pehli bar usne mujhe hug kiya tha us din , kehne ko sirf 20 second ki jhappi thi vo but humare emotions hazaron aansuon ke zariye humari ankhon se beh rahe the , mene khud  ko control karke yahi kaha tu mera best friend hai aur humesha rahega mene usse promise kiya ki uske bad main kisi ko apna best friend nai banaungi aur jaate jaate uska mood theek karne ke liye mene use kha aur mujhe tab tak phone mat karna jab tak tu kisi ko apni girlfriend na bana le , tu jab tak single rahe na mujhse baat mat karna aur is baat pe hum dono has pade agle din may lucknow aa gai aur kuch dino bad vo bhi hydrabad chala gaya , tab bhi kabhi kabhi humare friends phone karke hume tease karte ki dono ek hi jagah gay hai pacca aur phir humara reaction hota tha hey bhagwan kha phas gay , dheere dheere life track pe aai hum apni apni life may busy ho gay , mujhe lucknow aye 1 saal ho gaya is digital world may jha humare pas whatsapp hai , video call facility hai , calling hai vha meri aur mirza ki baaten humare professional mail ids pe mail ke zariye hoti thi , phone pe kabhi 1 min se jada bat hue hi nai  hafte beet jate the humari baat hue ,aur whatsapp pe to humara naamonishan nai tha , but dosti vaisi hi thi kyuki hum hamesha kehte the jab bonding strong ho to distance matter nai karta. Door the but paas the we were happy . But kehte hai na insaan ki soch badalne may vaqt nai lagta , kabhi kabhi insan dusron ki baaton se itna influence ho jata hai ki use khud ko nai samajh ata ki vo sahi kar raha hai ya galat , meri aur mirza ki dosti may ye kuch log u aye ki sab badal gaya ……

to be continued…

My diary ( kuch is tarah)

Tere Jaisa yaar kahan kha aisa yaraana, Ye gaana mera favorite ho gaya Tha, Kab? Jab vo mila Tha aur aj ye gaana sunte hi meri ankhen bhar Jati hai, kyu?? Kyuki vo chala gaya. Bahut soch samajh Kar aj irada Kiya hai ye kahani likhne ka, kahani meri, kahani dosti ki, kahani dost se ajnabi banne ki, kahani meri aur mirza ki…..

Fed up….

Yes I am fed up , I am fed up of giving explanation about my decision of parting ways with Mirza (bestie) , why I have to explain the same thing every time to everyone as if its a spicy story to be broadcasted nationwide. My sister called me on phone and she told me to rethink about my decision , my other friends are saying that you are wrong , you shouldn’t have done that , 8 years of friendship can not be broken in 8 mins you need a strong reason to do this . Rethink , give it a thought again  , go for right thing, these are the advises I am getting from different people , no one is saying that I have done right thing or taken the correct decision because they are only aware of a fact that I broke up with my best friend because he lied to me . Thats it . I have never thought that this friendship will turn my world upside down . Aisa kyu hota hai yaar jab umeed hoti hai ki haa ye insaan mujhe samjhega aur badle may vahi insaan apko galat thehraane lagta hai mujhe jin logo se umeed wahi log ye keh rahe hai ki maine galat kiya , Koi reason itna bada nai ho sakta , kaise samjhaun unhe ki jab chot lagti hai to kuch samajh nai ata sirf dard hota hai aur dard dene wale insaan ka khayal hota hai  . aur jo insan us dard ki vajah ho use maaf na karne ka faisla galat kaise ho sakta hai ???

long time no see

hey guys how are you , kafi din ho gaye na mile , actually I was not well and hospitalized due to severe anemia but now I am ok , I thought you must be thinking where I suddenly disappeared . You know what,where I went for my treatment ?? The same place which I have left 1 year back , the same place where I completed my schooling , half college the same place where I met a person who was everything  to me, surprisingly I met that person again , all of a sudden , accidentally he was in front of me but how ? I never informed anyone about my visit then how ?. I came back to lucknow today and first thing i did was checking out my trash to read that email but again stopped myself. Us jagah vapas jaa ke aisa laga jaise main phir se purane vaqt may laut gai .

Kabhi kabhi na khud pe gussa ata hai , khud ki problem ka solution khud ke pas hi nai hota , kyuu? hum karna kuch aur chahte hai karte kuch aur hai .

My Diary (Khat)

Aj ki subah kuch alag thi , roz ki tarah soke uthi aur ankhen meechte hue phone hath main liya , jaise hi internet on kiya kuch notifications aaye . Kuch 13 whatsapp msgs kuch company  offers wale msgs , gaana .com ke nay releases aur ek E-Mail , saare notifications to normal the kyuki roz hi ate the lekin aj jo naya tha vo thi E-mail , jo ki meri personal email id pe aai thi jiska use main bahut kam karti hu  bahut kam log hai jinhe meri personal email id pata hai aur uspe mails na ke barabar hi ati hai  phir aj ye mail kiski vo bhi kuch attachment ke saath ??, maine apne mail box ko open kiya ye janne ke liye ki vo mail kiski hai , aur bina mail khole maine bhejne vaale ka naam padha aur uska naam padhke na jaane kyu meri ankhon se ansu chalak aaye aur kahi kho gai main….

Mail us insaan ki thi jise abhi kuch hi din pehle maine apni zindagi se , dil se alag to kar diya tha lekin uski yaadon se ab bhi jhoojh rahi thi Mail tha mirza ka mera vo dost jo kuch hi palon mere mere liye ajnabi ban chuka tha , ha uska asli naam kuch aur hai lekin fact ye hai ki maine use kabhi uske naam se bulaya hi nahi jab jan pehchan hue to use uske surname se bulati thi aur uske bad uske itne naam rakh diye ki kabhi uske asli naam se bulana hi nai pada jadatar  mirza ke naam se bulati thi kyuki kehne ko vo hindu tha but use muslim naam bahut pasand the to kabhi mirza, to akbar nai to raanjha yahi naam diye the use . Mail khola nai tha abtak lekin man may aye savaalon ke  samandar may doob rahi thi kehne ko sirf dost tha mera lekin vo dosti bhi alag thi aur vo dost bhi alag tha , bar bar soch rahi thi mail kholu ya na kholu padhu ya na padhu aisa lag rha tha jaise ek khat mere hathon main hai aur khulne ki gujaarish kar raha hai , yaaden meri ankhon se ashk ban ke beh rahi thi aur maine email delete kar diya , ha delete kar diya bina padhe , mujhe nai pata usme kya tha  shayad main padhna chahti thi lekin kuch tha jisne mujhe rok liya . Pura din beet gaya lekin ab bhi kahi na kahi mere dimag may yahi hai ki kya tha us mail may , ek bar man kiya ki trash folder may jake phir se use khol ke padhu lekin pata nai kyu ye sirf khayal banke hi reh jata hai . samajh nai aa raha , aisa lag rha hai aj phir se mere dil aur dimag ki takrar ho gai hai kiski sunu dil ki ya dimag ki , dil kehta hai padhu dimag kehta hai na padhu . muhse aj tak samajh nai aya takrar jab aisi ho to sune kiski .kya karu padhun ya nahi???

Najrein nami ke peeche chipna chahti hai,

Gujarta hua lamha dil ko kos raha hai,

Tanhaai bhi ab ungliyon ka saath chhod rahi hai ,

Andhera bhi dil se muh mod raha hai …..!!

Iraadon ki raah aj phir yaadon ki or hai

Kuch lafson se ankhon ka saamna baaki hai ,

Ungliyan nazron ko bachana chah rahi  hai ,

Lekin shayad bheegi palkon ka udhaar chukana baki hai …..!!!

Kaagaj ki syaahi se dil anjaan hai ,

Jaane kyu phir bhi kuch to baat hai,

Jo is khat pe har aansu kurbaan hai ….!!!

                                              Siya……

 

 

Chale gay ho to chale jaoo

Ab chale gay ho to chale jao , meri yaadon may mat aaya karo tum.

Mera dil to tod hi diya hai tumne , ab mera chain mat cheena karo tum.

Pehchante bhi ho hume ya ek nai dunia bana li hai , khair chodo ye baaten befizul hoti hai meri

yad hai yahi to kaha karte the na tum !!!

Ab chale gay ho to chale jao , meri yaadon may mat aaya karo tum.

Tumhare raaste bulate hai mujhe, meri manzil to cheen chuke ho tum.

Kisne socha tha tumhari yaaden sametni padegi, sameti nahi jaati aajkal main

ek toota hua khilona jo ho gai hu.

Mere toote dil ko aur mat todo tum, yun roz roz mujse meri jhooti hi sahi lekin hasi cheena mat karo tum.

Ab chale gay ho to chale jao, meri yaadon may mat aaya karo tum.

Koi ret si kahani the tum, roka to bahut par beh gai.

Kisi Gazal ki tarah the tum , jo be matlabi baaten keh ke asli matbab samjha gay.

Kabhi andheron se puchna ki kahi dekha hai mujhe?

Ye andhera tumhari hi di hue saugat to hai jo ab mera pata ban gaya hai.

In andheron may hi to humari kahani meri kahani hoke reh gai.

Par ab is tarah mujhe daraaya mat karo tum.

Ab chale gay ho to chale jao, Meri yaadon may mat aya karo tum

Ab ginna chod diya hai maine bhi, sare hisaab chukta jo kar diye hai tumne .

Mere khaali dil ko dard se bhar jo diya hai tumne. Main darti thi kahi akeli na reh jau tumhare bina!!

Mujhe mujhse hi cheenke wah!! ahsaan jo kar diya hai tumne.

Suno ab akela chod do mujhe , aur ahsaan mat karo tum.

Ab chale gay ho to chale jao, meri yaadon may mat aaya karo tum!!mat aya karo tum..

                                                                                                                                   Siya…

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